3 Things I Want my Girls to Learn
About Being a Woman
In honour of International Women's Day and to take a moment for reflection, I decided to write an open letter to my three young girls. How has being a woman affected my life? How do I celebrate it? How do I pass on what I now know?
And to our community: What have you learned? What would this letter look like for you?
To my littlest loves,
You are my greatest achievements, my brightest lights and my most wonderful surprises. We didn’t know what we would have with any of you but it didn’t matter as we knew whatever you were when you arrived, whatever you become as you grow, we would love you with our whole hearts.
However, with the world as it is, there are still many challenges that come with being a woman, and it is our job as your parents to prepare you not just to survive, but thrive and possibly become part of the change to having a better, more equal, world in the future.
Here are simple truths and words I wished I had heard more growing up:
Do not be a good girl. Be a strong, kind, wise, happy, super-hero. Do not try to blend in, do not make yourself small and try to please others. I catch myself praising you for being good, asking you to calm down or sit back and I am trying to untrain that part of me that thinks that is how you ‘should’ behave. Instead, I want you to stand out in whatever way makes you, you. I want you to be mindful and care for others, but not to change yourself for anyone! You are vibrant, creative, colourful, and brilliant just as you are and you should not be caged, but fly!
It’s okay not to know who or what you want to be. Take time to discover what you love, where you fit and who will make you feel like a better version of yourself. If someone doesn’t make you feel good, let them go, or you will spend your whole life trying to make them like you instead of just being your amazing self. No one knows what the right path is for you except you and no one is born knowing, it takes time, so don’t focus on the destination but enjoy the journey!
You are capable of anything! I will do everything I can to support you to achieve whatever you set your heart on, but it is up to you to make it happen. You can do and become whatever you want, but you cannot do and become everything and you will have to make some tough choices, but know nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it.
But the most important thing to remember is that the greatest sign of strength is caring and kindness. When it feels like the hardest thing to do, it is usually when it is most needed and you will never regret being kind! As women, kindness was once viewed as a weakness, but know it is one of our greatest strengths!
I know the three of you will find your own unique path ahead, each with its own challenges, and I just hope I can help prepare you to be the strongest, happiest versions of yourselves to undertake the journey. I sometimes wish I could wrap you all in cotton wool and make everything easy for you, but I know you have to fall down to get back up stronger. Just know that I will always be there to help pick you back up until you jump back up before you need me, then I know I will have done my job and you will be strong, kind and resilient women.
All My Love,
Mum
